Salt baths and chocolate cake are ways to enjoy life - not escape from it.

Self-care, as Brianna Wiest so eloquently writes, is…

“Becoming the person you know you want and are meant to be. Someone who knows that salt baths and chocolate cake are ways to enjoy life - not escape from it.”

YES.

The term self-care is EVERYWHERE these days.

But there is a BIG difference between faux self-care and real self-care, as Pooja Lakshmin, MD, outlines in her book Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness.

Faux self-care fuels a multi-billion dollar industry that urges us to look outside of ourselves for wellness, often by purchasing products and programs.  

It’s consumerism masquerading as self-care. It’s temporarily uplifting at best, and downright manipulative at worst.

So then, What is REAL self-care?

For 2 decades I’ve been on a journey to discover just that.

I’ve done juice cleanses, attended yoga retreats, bought crystals, read a gazillion self-help books, decluttered my home, used a bullet journal… my god, I’ve even put MCT oil in my coffee! 

There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of the above.

I love a good smoothie or yoga immersion.

And I LOVE me some decluttering! 

But none of this is real self-care.

Real self-care is an inside job. 

It doesn’t always feel good, it’s frequently inconvenient, and it never ends.

Real self-care is… 

An ongoing process of inventorying our values.

Overlaying these values onto our lifestyle.

Being honest with ourselves about the discrepancies.

Committing to meaningful change to better align the two. 

Real self-care is…

Setting boundaries, which means saying NO. 

Being guided by our true nature rather than the voice of culture.  

Real self-care is…

Intuitive.

Pausing to check in with our bodies.

Listening for what it truly needs, instead of just doing what we think we “should do to be healthy.”  

Real self-care is…

Doing the challenging but liberating work of freeing ourselves from our shame.

Releasing guilt for taking the time and space we need to thrive.

I call it RADICAL SELF-CARE

Radical because it’s foundational. It’s the root of our vitality.

Radical because it’s subversive. It goes against the systems in place designed to keep us looking outside ourselves for fulfillment.

Radical self-care is internal and ongoing.

It cultivates purpose, joy, connection and freedom in our bodies and in our lives.

Radical self-care is baked into every aspect of my own life, and it’s the cornerstone of my Essential Offerings.