Becoming brave enough to trust in my body.

Long ago, I had an eating disorder.

I was obsessed with food, didn’t eat much of it, and literally tried to make my body as small as possible.

In ignoring and mistreating my body, I abandoned myself.

No blame or shame.

The cultural story of the body is often the cool-aid we drink.

Fast forward 20 years…

I still have to check how hard I push my body.

I get frustrated with the melasma I have on my skin.

I have days when I resist feeling my feelings even though, as a coach, I know that feelings are a doorway to truth, reckoning, and freedom.

AND

I have come to love and appreciate my body in a way my 16 year-old-self never could have imagined…

My body has healed from anorexia.

She has run one marathon and has not wanted to run a second.

She loves sleep and hot baths, and craves mostly plant foods.

She loves ice cream and espresso, too.

My body has scars from falls, burns, acne, and surgery.

She has three small scars across her abdomen when an ovary was removed laparoscopically at 35 weeks pregnant.

She is so strong.

She has experienced debilitating grief and boundless joy.

She told me for years to give up alcohol.

200+ days ago (at the time of this writing), I did.

My body grew a new human and birthed him into the world 10 months ago.

Now she feeds him.

AMAZING.

Becoming brave enough to be in my body and trust in my body has been a scary, powerful, beautiful and life-changing journey.

I now love her.

She’s my home.

I’m sure you’re well aware that the cultural story of the body has been one of lack, shame, blame, punishment, sin, and oppression.

100% bullshit.

There’s a new story being written.

Or should I say, remembered.

These days I speak to my body like I would a lover.

"You are radiant. Thank you. I love you.”

After taking some long, slow breaths,

"Aaaah there you are, I've missed you."

Can you imagine the world when we collectively write the true story of the body?

About how the body is a truth-telling machine.

How the body is our North Star.

Our compass.

Our path to liberation.